Tuesday was World Book Day and ABC’s Jimmy Kimmel celebrated by bringing a quintet of librarians together to tell Republicans to “shut the [bleep] up” over their supposed book bans. The only problem was that the books Kimmel and his new friends highlighted, such as The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and To Kill A Mockingbird, are regularly targeted by race-obsessed progressives.
Kimmel began by declaring, “It’s also World Book Day today or as the state of Florida calls it, Bonfire Day.”
After a digression into the demise of the phone book and the Yellow Pages, Kimmel continued, “All jokes aside, this World Book Day is a weird one. There are at least 100 bills in various red states, three of which have become law already, threatening librarians with prison for the crime of lending books. Books that aren’t government-approved. Which to me, not only is this the opposite of what our country’s supposed to be about, it’s completely nuts. We’re going to throw librarians in jail for loaning out Huckleberry Finn. This is not what they signed up for. I think it’s disgusting and wrong and anti-American.”
Schools that target Huckleberry Finn generally do so under the guise that the book contains the N-word and therefore removing the book from the curriculum is needed “to protect the dignity of our students.”
Kimmel then played a sketch the show put together of five librarians reacting to Kimmel’s anti-red state diatribe. The librarians informed viewers that they are “not groomers,” “not sex fiends,” “not pornographers,” and “not Satanists.”
One lamented, “Some people want to make us criminals,” while another declared, “It’s not meth. It’s Judy Blume.” They wondered why Republicans want to “make books the enemy” and “make knowledge the enemy.” Three of them responded that conservatives should “shut the [bleep] up.”
In a post-credit scene, one added, “You can have To Kill A Mockingbird when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! Or you can check it out.”
Like Huckleberry Finn, To Kill A Mockingbird is targeted by blue school districts for its unsettling, but historically accurate language, while also being attacked for the alleged white savior complex of its protagonist. Meanwhile, Kimmel’s monologue and the corresponding skit from the librarians were just another case of Jimmy Kimmel Live! not sufficiently checking their facts.
Here is a transcript for the April 23 show:
ABC Jimmy Kimmel Live!
4/23/2024
11:46 PM ET
JIMMY KIMMEL: It’s also World Book Day today or as the state of Florida calls it, Bonfire Day.
…
All jokes aside, this World Book Day is a weird one. There are at least 100 bills in various red states, three of which have become law already, threatening librarians with prison for the crime of lending books. Books that aren’t government-approved. Which to me, not only is this the opposite of what our country’s supposed to be about, it’s completely nuts. We’re going to throw librarians in jail for loaning out Huckleberry Finn. This is not what they signed up for. I think it’s disgusting and wrong and anti-American. But don’t take it from me, take it from these real-life librarians.
MALE LIBRARIAN: I’m a librarian.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: I’m a librarian.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: I’ve been a librarian for 26 years.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 3: We’re librarians.
MALE LIBRARIAN: Masters of the library sciences.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Not groomers.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: Not sex fiends.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: Not pornographers.
MALE LIBRARIAN: We’re the people who hand out library cards.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: We do story times.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: We put away the books you guys leave out on the tables instead of putting them on the reshelf cart.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: The clearly labeled reshelf cart.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: You can read that, right?
MALE LIBRARIAN: We’re not the deep state.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: We’re not Satanists.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: We’re librarians.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 3: But some people want to make us criminals.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: Put us in jail.
MALE LIBRARIAN: I would not do well in jail.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: It’s not meth. It’s Judy Blume.
MALE LIBRARIAN: Judy effing Bloom.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Judy effing Bloom.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: Fine us thousands of dollars?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 3: Like we have thousands of dollars.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Make books the enemy?
MALE LIBRARIAN: Make knowledge the enemy?
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: And you know what we say to this?
ALL: Shh!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN: Shut the [bleep] up!
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: Shut the [bleep] up.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 4: Please shut the [bleep] up.
MALE LIBRARIAN: What’s wrong with you?
NARRATOR: Paid for by Americans Against Americans Against Librarians.
FEMALE LIBRARIAN 2: You can have To Kill A Mockingbird when you pry it from my cold, dead hands! Or you can check it out.