Happy Friday, friends! Grab a drink, or an entire bottle of something strong and come on in. We are de-stressing from a world that is mostly terrible. For these few short fleeting moments we are going to forget about all of that and focus on fuzzy baby animals and things that make us go “Awwww!”
Look! People are getting along for five minutes!
Speaking of Seinfeld, a bunch of people on Twitter decided to use the COVID vaccine plotline to write a Seinfeld episode centered around it. Hilarious. This is one of my favorites.
George will not get the vaccine as his parents refuse to see anyone who is not vaccinated.
— gustavo 🇨🇺🇺🇸 (@greeneyed_cuban) August 4, 2021
Also…
Jerry gets the vaccine after his parents harass him abt seeing Uncle Leo, but lies about it to get out of lunch with Bania. He gets caught by both
— Mr. Blown (@TheRealDoveCote) August 4, 2021
But this one I could actually see playing out in my head. This is so perfect.
2/ Kramerica industries gets mistakenly tasked by the government to distribute vaccines. Kramer decides to give vaccines out by subway turnstile. As Kramer sets up, Jerry’s GF leads a huge protest in the station.
— Bladeaux (@Bud_Nuggets) August 4, 2021
For the most part, this contest went on without anyone accusing anyone else of destroying life as we know it—so that was a welcome break from reality.
Kruiser relief
I know I thank Jesus every day that Stephen Kruiser is my friend. I’m sure a bunch of you do too. With his Morning Briefing headlines that make me spit out my coffee most of the time and his witty tweets, a Kruiser break is always welcome. I mean…look at this. You’re welcome.
Anyway, “teat” is still a funny word.
— SFK (@stephenkruiser) August 6, 2021
Animal break, because… this is awesome.
This dog appears to have wings. Just, wow.
— No Risk No Fun (@RiskWorId) August 3, 2021
Weird Olympics
Every time the summer Olympics rolls around I find myself watching and wondering how anything I do could be an Olympic sport. Now, I’m not saying I could medal or anything, but it just doesn’t seem like it should qualify. Isn’t this just walking fast? And if I do it, will I get that skinny? We used to do this in 1985 at the mall wearing leotards.
this is the weirdest looking sport. But they’re all really skinny. Maybe this is the answer I’ve been looking for… https://t.co/laOaZ52Yhq
— Megan Fox 🦊 (@MeganFoxWriter) August 6, 2021
Managing editor Paula Bolyard and I are on the case.
We need to find this out pic.twitter.com/xByceVIXtn
— Megan Fox 🦊 (@MeganFoxWriter) August 6, 2021
Airplane Madness Turns Hilarious
I keep trying to tell you people that masking everyone on planes is a very bad idea. It’s leading to the breakdown of society because everyone is lacking oxygen in the brain, leading to terrible events like this weirdo getting duct-taped to his seat. It’s pretty funny. The flight attendants deserve a raise. But then this dude, a comedian, jumped in and made it even funnier. Watch this. You will not be disappointed.
Passenger duck taped to seat for attacking flight attendants! #frontierairlines #ducktapedtoseat #crazypeople #therealspark #news pic.twitter.com/4TXElXaGyE
— THE_REAL_SPARK (@The_Real_Sparkk) August 5, 2021
Have a great weekend, everyone! And don’t act a fool on any flights, or if you do, make sure someone is filming.