Top O’ the Briefing
Happy Tuesday, dear Kruiser Morning Briefing friends.
I hope everyone is having a somewhat enjoyable start to the New Year.
Today is another “Holiday Lite” edition, then we will return to our regularly scheduled news with a heavy side of snark tomorrow.
I’ve been writing professionally about politics for over 20 years and this year will mark my 40th anniversary as an activist. Many of you are probably now thinking, “But Kruiser, you’re only 38!”
That’s all genetics.
Anyway, I mention my years of experience as a starting point for the discussion about how weird 2024 is going to be here in the United States of America. Conventional political wisdom went missing in 2016 and hasn’t been seen since. Here is the one prediction I will make: it won’t be found in 2024.
I will freely admit that, despite my decades of political experience, I haven’t the slightest clue what is going to happen this year. Because the year is fresh and I’m feeling generous, I’ll just say that I’m skeptical of anyone who speaks or writes as if he or she has some keen insight as to how the presidential election is going to play out. At this point, I wouldn’t be surprised if we end up with a hybrid sloth/ptarmigan being from a faraway galaxy ruling the United States, if not all of Earth, at this time next year.
For reasons I will have to explore in therapy and with a bartender, I’m convinced that the sloth/ptarmigan space alien speaks through what appears to be an armpit.
Not being certain doesn’t prevent me from speculating though. It’s part of the gig here. I will be thinking things through, but there will be occasional fits of throwing everything at the wall just to see what sticks.
I have adobe walls. They’re very easy to clean.
Let the flinging begin.
The Mailbag of Magnificence contributions can be sent to [email protected].
Everything Isn’t Awful
Dog and pig playing with a ball.. 😊 pic.twitter.com/SBsEi4uhGq
— Buitengebieden (@buitengebieden) January 1, 2024
Schlichter. Top Twenty Terrible Predictions for 2024
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Around the Interwebz
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) January 1, 2024
The Kruiser Kabana
— Vincent van Gogh (@vangoghartist) December 31, 2023