Comedy Dies as Colbert and Warren List Four Reasons to Vote Democrat

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With less than a week to go before the midterms, CBS host of The Late Show Stephen Colbert dropped all pretense of being a comedian and welcomed Sen. Elizabeth Warren on his Wednesday show to give four reasons to vote for Democrats next week.

Colbert began his descent into DNC TV by asking, “Do you have a closing argument as we go into the last few days?”

Naturally, Warren did, “So, this is about a huge choice, I mean, like, giant differences. They’re going to be four things on the ballot.”

The first of those things is, “Roe v. Wade is going to be on the ballot. The Republicans want to ban access to abortion all across this country. The Democrats think the patient and the doctor should make the decision, and not your local elected officials. Yes, Pennsylvania, I’m looking at you. John Fetterman.”

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Colbert offered no pushback and after some exaggerated note taking, asked for the second reason. Warren obliged, “The economy is going to be on the ballot.”

After Colbert interrupted to offer very light pushback, pointing out that conventional wisdom says Republicans have the advantage because of inflation, Warren continued, “Whoa! A lot of billionaires think that… A lot of billionaires think that because here’s the deal, the Republicans say their big economic plan is to cut Social Security and Medicare and put in more tax breaks for billionaires and billionaire corporations.”

After some talk on Social Security, Colbert asked what was the toughest question of the interview and even it wasn’t that tough, “What’s the plan on inflation, though?”

Warren touted Democrats’ inflationary-causing spending as their solution to spending, “So, look, it’s going after costs that family directly feel. So what we’re doing is we’re lowering the cost of healthcare, putting a cap on the cost of insulin. The climate plan will reduce the cost of utilities.”

After she touted Biden’s student loan forgiveness order, Colbert wondered if it would survive the courts. Warren couldn’t decide whether the order was so uncontroversial that prior presidents have done the same thing or a historic accomplishment:

So, look, if the judges actually read the law, yeah, it’s going to happen. There’s no doubt that the president has the authority to do this. President Obama did it. President Trump did it, and President Biden can do this. But take a deep breath on that one, on student loans, and just think about the fact that the president of the United States is on the side of the American people. 

Again, Colbert offered no pushback. Moving on to reason three, Warren claimed, “So, the third thing is climate. It’s–our planet is on the ballot. The Republicans want to keep taking money from Big Oil. They want to embrace the climate deniers.”

Only offering slight resistance, Colbert asked if the climate bill has affected gas prices. Warren absurdly claimed it has, but in a good way, “Yes, it is related in the sense that the more we move to clean energy, the more we move to renewable energy, the less dependent we are on nations like Russia or Saudi Arabia that decide how high and how low oil prices are going to be.”

Warren and Colbert were most in alignment over the final reason, which Warren claimed was the fact that, “democracy is on the ballot.”

Colbert responded by affirming, “while the rest of these—while the rest of these– are important… none of it matters unless you save that one.”

If Warren and Colbert truly believed that, maybe dismissing people’s concerns as billionaire talking points isn’t the greatest of ideas.

This segment was sponsored by Apple.

Here is a transcript of the November 2 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

11/3/2022

12: 05 AM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: There’s a weird dichotomy out there—there– that there is– I’ve seen headlines saying, lack of enthusiasm. I’ve seen other headlines that say at the same time, this is historic turnout that hasn’t been seen since the mid-70s.”

Clearly, this is an important, but strange time. Do you have a closing argument as we go into the last few days? 

ELIZABETH WARREN: So, this is about a huge choice, I mean, like, giant differences. They’re going to be four things on the ballot. Whoever’s name is there, Roe v. Wade is going to be on the ballot. The Republicans want to ban access to abortion all across this country. The Democrats think the patient and the doctor should make the decision, and not your local elected officials. Yes, Pennsylvania, I’m looking at you. John Fetterman. 

COLBERT: Okay, that’s one.

WARREN: That’s one. 

COLBERT: That’s one, hold on. 

WARREN: You bet.

COLBERT: One. Two. 

WARREN: The economy is going to be on the ballot. Now, the Republicans – 

COLBERT: A lot of people– a lot of people—Republicans– a lot of people think the Republicans have an advantage on the economy because of inflation. 

WARREN: Whoa! A lot of billionaires think that. 

COLBERT: A lot of billionaires? 

WARREN: A lot of billionaires think– yes, I know, you like that. A lot of billionaires think that because here’s the deal, the Republicans say their big economic plan is to cut Social Security and Medicare and put in more tax breaks for billionaires and billionaire corporations.

COLBERT: Can we stop on that for a second—

WARREN: Yeah.

COLBERT: The Social Security and Medicare. 

WARREN: Yeah.

COLBERT: That has long been called the third rail of American politics. 

WARREN: You would think.

COLBERT: Why do you think they’re willing to lick it? 

WARREN: Because they have very long tongues. And on that one, actually, keep in mind– let’s do another state. The Republicans have said they want to vote every five years on whether to keep Social Security and Medicare. 

But in Wisconsin, Ron Johnson says he wants to vote every single year. So, Wisconsin, we’re looking at you. Mandela Barnes is your guy. Gotta do this. 

COLBERT: Okay. That’s—that’s–

WARREN: Okay, that’s the second thing. And Democrats, by the way, want the economy to work for everybody, right? Lowering health care costs – 

COLBERT: What’s the plan on inflation, though?

WARREN: So, look, it’s going after costs that family directly feel. So what we’re doing is we’re lowering the cost of healthcare, putting a cap on the cost of insulin. The climate plan will reduce the cost of utilities. So we’re going directly after it. Look, we’ve gone after it, we’ve cut student loan debt for 43 million Americans. That’s where families live. 

COLBERT: Do you think that’ll go through? Because there has been yet another stay by a federal judge on that. Do you think that’s going to happen? 

WARREN: So, look, if the judges actually read the law, yeah, it’s going to happen. There’s no doubt that the president has the authority to do this. President Obama did it. President Trump did it, and President Biden can do this. But take a deep breath on that one, on student loans, and just think about the fact that the president of the United States is on the side of the American people. 

Twenty million Americans will see all of their student loan debt canceled. Half of all Latinos will see all of their debt wiped out. Nearly a third of all African-Americans. This is an economic justice issue, this is a racial justice issue. This is the first big effort of the federal government to help close the racial wealth gap in America.

COLBERT: Okay, let’s go to three. That’s three, so—

WARREN: Okay, and by the way, I should say on that one, anyone who hasn’t should sign up for student loan debt relief. That’s studentaid.gov, right? Okay, I want to do that. 

COLBERT: So, what’s the third– what’s the third thing here? 

WARREN: So, the third thing is climate. It’s–our planet is on the ballot. The Republicans want to keep taking money from Big Oil. They want to embrace the climate deniers. The Democrats have already made a big down payment. We have already passed laws to cut climate emissions by 40 percent by 2030. And give us some more senators and we’re going to make more cuts and truly save our planet. This is why Democrats– so that’s number three. 

COLBERT: Is that– is that– is that climate change bill, or the– addressing climate change, or global warming bill, is that in any way related to the increase in fuel prices? 

WARREN: No. In fact, it goes the other way. Yes, it is related in the sense that the more we move to clean energy, the more we move to renewable energy, the less dependent we are on nations like Russia or Saudi Arabia that decide how high and how low oil prices are going to be. 

So ultimately, one of the effects of this big climate initiative that the Democrats have put in is to bring down the cost of energy for people all across this country. 

COLBERT: Okay, so, four—

WARREN: Makes it better. That’s three. 

COLBERT: That’s three. So what’s the fourth one? 

WARREN: Four: democracy is on the ballot. 

COLBERT: There you go. And while the rest of these—while the rest of these– are important—

WARREN: Yeah.

COLBERT: None of it matters unless you save that one. 

WARREN: That’s right. And we’ve got to save democracy. Let’s face it, the Republicans continue to embrace the big lie. They continue to try to excuse and make up for what happened on January 6. The Democrats have a very clear message: Every American citizen should– has the right to vote and to get that vote counted. That’s the deal. That’s how democracy works.

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